I figure now that writing is going to be a major part of my life, I might as well start writing for the fun of it. This blog isn't something that I intend for others to read, but more for my own uses, as a journal of sorts where I can freely write about anything and everything I want, and as a tool for me to reflect on not only my life, but also my abilities as a writer. I'm not good at the moment, grammer's a HUGE bitch at times. Hopefully with enough practice, I can write more eloquently and form more cohesive bodies of work that don't feel all over the place with ideas (possible that I'm ADD lite).
Now on to my news...
Today marks the start of the new school quarter here at UC Davis. To me, it's just ten more weeks til I'm outta here for good, it's no secret that I despise the place. Hell, just take a look around, just grass... and cows. All flat land. Boredom to the nth degree. Now, I'm not saying that I hate the people there, certainly better that the douchebags you meet in high school. My problem with the school is just a general lack of interesting classes.
As much as I hate college at this point, I can't help but wonder if education still means the same thing. Everyone expects the smart people in highschool to attend a prestigious school such as Harvard, UC Berkeley or any Ivy-league school. It certainly is a great networking tool, just look at Obama. He got most of his help in his presidential campaign from colleagues he went to school with. My problem with college is simply the illusion it creates. Does smart equate to our definition of education?
There certainly has to be a point where the school no longer becomes part of the educational equation. Ask any teenager what their plans are after highschool and most would say "I'm gonna get an education", which is fine. I feel though, that the defintition of education has become something along the lines of being a success which, in my opinion is not necessarily the case. Why is it that some people who never attended any schools after highschool managed to make a better living than others who have graduated from a four year educational institution? I guess the simple answer is that these people know what to do with their life, or at least more so than some. I'm not trashing people who go to college, no. I simply think how ridiculous it is for some people to expect that college is the gateway to money. Most of it is hard work and determination, and hopefully passion for your area of interest.
College can be a wonderful place, as long as you know in your gut that you belong there, because there is something that you have to learn from the institution. I guess that makes me an outsider of sorts, I never did learned much from highschool and once college started, didn't learn it there either. I guess the thing is, make learning a priority. It shouldn't matter what it is, and be open minded.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Finally something went right with my life. I got off the waitlist for the Simpsons Class! I finally have a class that teaches you how to write scripts!
Epiphany
Well, I'm not one to do these "Blog" things since admittedly, I'm not good at commitments. I guess I'm gonna start by saying this: follow your dreams. Now you may be thinking to yourself, "that's nothing new fucktard" but in all honesty, this is something that I feel most of us lose sight of once we "move on with our lives," college being a major reason why. Most of us are so concentrated on the idea of money that I feel many trade dreams for a paycheck, or maybe lie to ourselves to the point which our paycheck becomes the dream. You may be wondering why I've come to this conclusion so let me begin by telling a little something about college.
It was about early last September and in many ways, it was just the same as the summers before it. I was at home... doing absolutley nothing. I guess in all my time of being un-preoccupied left me with a lot of time to think about many things, usually life in general. There was no question just a few months prior, that it was a definite plan that I was going to college, learn about biology and find a nice cozy job pertaining to the field of environmental studies. Somewhere along the way though, I began to question myself, I began to wonder why it would be something that I would like to do one day. I couldn't figure out an answer. I just can't!
So I began to question myself more and more until finally, I couldn't see why I wanted to go to college in the first place. Everyone says that an education is a good investment, but what many don't realize is that there's this ultra fine print that says "depending on how you invest it". I looked at the value of education, and questioned the monetary value attached to it. If money was taken out of the education, would I still do it? I found out no. I would not be studying any sort of science in the professional field if money was not a part of the equation. This was a rather disheartening time for me. Here I was, about to embark on my first steps of being an adult and already I'm overwhelmed by my life. I asked my parents if I could drop UC Davis and go to a community college instead, but parents being what they are, felt I was being unreasonable. They thought it was all nonsense. Long story short, the answer was no. You ask why didn't I just drop out and go to community college instead? Tell you the truth, I didn't have the balls. I became responsible for myself.
Day came to move into the dorm and what a wonderful crapshack it was. Light was a dusty yellow and the walls looked like it hasn't been painted in a good forty years. Floors looked dusty as hell with minor cracks in it. You'd figure that a school such as UC Davis would have the money to at least have everything maintained well but, guess they don't have enough dough. I couldn't feel anymore trapped than now. Few classes there actually interested me and I felt like running away back home. Every weekend, I took the Amtrak to get back home and every weekend, I dreaded going back to that godforsaken school. I'm not the socializing type so making friends was rather difficult and my roommate was rather annoying, never could use his earplugs to listen to music.
About a month in, I couldn't take it anymore. I never remembered being so depressed with my life. Here I am, at one of the more prestigious universities of the country and I can't get any shit done and learned. I guess you could call it a nervous breakdown of sorts. I didn't eat as much, became extremely irritable and was angry with everything. Those close to me know, it's usually really difficult to get me angry (think like pre-radiation Bruce Banner). Now you may be asking yourself dear reader, what does the saying follow your dreams have to do with any of this depressing drabble about college? To tell you the truth, I do have a passion, and it was always movies.
I don't remember exactly when movies begam to be a big part of my life, but I know Star Wars was a big influence. I was always interested at how movies were made. People often buy DVDs for the movies and ignore the special features but I was the one who always watched it. They all share an insight on exactly what it takes to make a film and how different factors affect what we see on screen and the like. Whatever it was, I knew I was hooked. They have this sort of specialness to them. Movies are an experience, something that you share with strangers in a theatre and engages an audience on an emotional level that I find books can't. Anything you can think up, you can put on screen and Screenplays offer such a control over the movie's world. I knew what my dream job would be, to be a screenwriter.
But this is something that I could never imagine doing. How many famous scriptwriters can you name? Few can come to mind if you're into following movie news. To casual moviegoers, most never think twice about the author of the movie they just watched. No one can imagine that someone sits at a desk writing little notes on a piece of paper, sticks them to a wall and over a course of a few months uses the notes to form a screenplay. Nevermind the fact that screenwriters don't get paid nearly enough as director or actors. It certainly was nothing more than a dream job. Hell I'd do it for free.And that was it. I found my reason. The one job that I would be willing to do for free and it was perhaps the craziest thing anyone can think about.
But it wasn't a time that I celebrated. I had this epiphany long ago even before applying to college. I guess I just wanted to find an excuse for not doing it. Paychecks are really unstable and honestly, who wants to grow up to be a forgotten writer in hollywood? I looked to science and college as a gateway out of this, perhaps I'll find something else that I like equally as much, but life has a funny way of showing you the truth. It was in my nervous breakdown that I finally had enough with it and I looked at myself, square in the eye at my reflection, "I'm gonna be a screenwriter", crazy isn't it?
So here's what I want anyone who gets to read this, (most likely no one) that it really is important to follow your dreams. I learned that the hard way, spending a year at UC Davis doing nothing, a full year truly wasted, not to mention all the financial aid that I used towards nothing. Don't make the mistake of burying your dreams for the promise of a paycheck or a prestigious title that everyone would look at you in awe for or it'll eat away at you until you start to hate it.
I may never get to write for a big hollywood movie but my passion to do it is there, and hopefully that will take me as far as possible. All I know is that I'm eighteen, and I'm an adult. I guess if there ever was a mistake to be made, it better be something made early rather than later.
It was about early last September and in many ways, it was just the same as the summers before it. I was at home... doing absolutley nothing. I guess in all my time of being un-preoccupied left me with a lot of time to think about many things, usually life in general. There was no question just a few months prior, that it was a definite plan that I was going to college, learn about biology and find a nice cozy job pertaining to the field of environmental studies. Somewhere along the way though, I began to question myself, I began to wonder why it would be something that I would like to do one day. I couldn't figure out an answer. I just can't!
So I began to question myself more and more until finally, I couldn't see why I wanted to go to college in the first place. Everyone says that an education is a good investment, but what many don't realize is that there's this ultra fine print that says "depending on how you invest it". I looked at the value of education, and questioned the monetary value attached to it. If money was taken out of the education, would I still do it? I found out no. I would not be studying any sort of science in the professional field if money was not a part of the equation. This was a rather disheartening time for me. Here I was, about to embark on my first steps of being an adult and already I'm overwhelmed by my life. I asked my parents if I could drop UC Davis and go to a community college instead, but parents being what they are, felt I was being unreasonable. They thought it was all nonsense. Long story short, the answer was no. You ask why didn't I just drop out and go to community college instead? Tell you the truth, I didn't have the balls. I became responsible for myself.
Day came to move into the dorm and what a wonderful crapshack it was. Light was a dusty yellow and the walls looked like it hasn't been painted in a good forty years. Floors looked dusty as hell with minor cracks in it. You'd figure that a school such as UC Davis would have the money to at least have everything maintained well but, guess they don't have enough dough. I couldn't feel anymore trapped than now. Few classes there actually interested me and I felt like running away back home. Every weekend, I took the Amtrak to get back home and every weekend, I dreaded going back to that godforsaken school. I'm not the socializing type so making friends was rather difficult and my roommate was rather annoying, never could use his earplugs to listen to music.
About a month in, I couldn't take it anymore. I never remembered being so depressed with my life. Here I am, at one of the more prestigious universities of the country and I can't get any shit done and learned. I guess you could call it a nervous breakdown of sorts. I didn't eat as much, became extremely irritable and was angry with everything. Those close to me know, it's usually really difficult to get me angry (think like pre-radiation Bruce Banner). Now you may be asking yourself dear reader, what does the saying follow your dreams have to do with any of this depressing drabble about college? To tell you the truth, I do have a passion, and it was always movies.
I don't remember exactly when movies begam to be a big part of my life, but I know Star Wars was a big influence. I was always interested at how movies were made. People often buy DVDs for the movies and ignore the special features but I was the one who always watched it. They all share an insight on exactly what it takes to make a film and how different factors affect what we see on screen and the like. Whatever it was, I knew I was hooked. They have this sort of specialness to them. Movies are an experience, something that you share with strangers in a theatre and engages an audience on an emotional level that I find books can't. Anything you can think up, you can put on screen and Screenplays offer such a control over the movie's world. I knew what my dream job would be, to be a screenwriter.
But this is something that I could never imagine doing. How many famous scriptwriters can you name? Few can come to mind if you're into following movie news. To casual moviegoers, most never think twice about the author of the movie they just watched. No one can imagine that someone sits at a desk writing little notes on a piece of paper, sticks them to a wall and over a course of a few months uses the notes to form a screenplay. Nevermind the fact that screenwriters don't get paid nearly enough as director or actors. It certainly was nothing more than a dream job. Hell I'd do it for free.And that was it. I found my reason. The one job that I would be willing to do for free and it was perhaps the craziest thing anyone can think about.
But it wasn't a time that I celebrated. I had this epiphany long ago even before applying to college. I guess I just wanted to find an excuse for not doing it. Paychecks are really unstable and honestly, who wants to grow up to be a forgotten writer in hollywood? I looked to science and college as a gateway out of this, perhaps I'll find something else that I like equally as much, but life has a funny way of showing you the truth. It was in my nervous breakdown that I finally had enough with it and I looked at myself, square in the eye at my reflection, "I'm gonna be a screenwriter", crazy isn't it?
So here's what I want anyone who gets to read this, (most likely no one) that it really is important to follow your dreams. I learned that the hard way, spending a year at UC Davis doing nothing, a full year truly wasted, not to mention all the financial aid that I used towards nothing. Don't make the mistake of burying your dreams for the promise of a paycheck or a prestigious title that everyone would look at you in awe for or it'll eat away at you until you start to hate it.
I may never get to write for a big hollywood movie but my passion to do it is there, and hopefully that will take me as far as possible. All I know is that I'm eighteen, and I'm an adult. I guess if there ever was a mistake to be made, it better be something made early rather than later.
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