Back to School

So I'm going back to school in a few days. I realized I haven't blogged much nor have I read too many new scripts (amateur or otherwise) in a while. I don't know, but Triggerstreet always leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth whenever I review stories on that site. I guess moderation is key. Not knocking on the writers there but sometimes I feel like no matter how detailed my notes can be, there's always something missing on the execution that probably due to my amateur status, I can't pinpoint on how to fix. I suppose it's one of those things that you have to pick up after you start getting some things written and completed.

But, and this is a BIG BUT (hehe, I said big butt), I have been writing all of summer. Nothing too big but I've been constantly re-working my outline for my script which despite the flaws I see at the moment, feels much more focused and slightly more cinematic than I expected. Again it does have a few kinks that I'm not too happy with but hey, I'm not being such an ass like all those other times. I really can't wait until I actually start scripting the thing cause now, I've got myself a blueprint. It's closing in on 20 pages for my outline and it's more of a very detailed outline with bits of dialogue and shit like that thrown in.

Man, I wish I did this before I did my Vomit Draft back in April. It would've saved me so much time.

So here's a huge lesson, if you're writing an action script, outline, Outline, OUTLINE.

Peace til later peeps.

Gale Force

Back again for another installment of Die hard Week/Month. Today is my review of Die Hard in a Hurricane.

I'm reviewing this script because I'm working on my own Die hard Rip-off, as
evidenced in my viewing of Under Siege and Sudden Death though I should probably look at better films for influence. Eh, it's a little late to the game since all the big Die Hard Rip off pieces were made in the 90's. But hey, first scripts are first scripts and it shouldn't hurt to try and dissect a formula that's been done before. I think it would be a valuable learning experience, plus action is fun and apparently, this script rocks you like a hurricane...

Gale Force was the script that supposedly started the spec sale boom in the 90's. Back in those days, studios were picking up specs left and right and while it was a great time to be a screenwriter, few if any of those projects actually made it to the big screen. This being one of the casualties.

The film follows Willie Peacock, an ex marine who's living his life as the caretaker of the marina, he loves swimming and his scuba gear so in essence, Peacock's kinda like Aquaman except useful and badass. He discovers a bunch of men in scuba suits armed with guns and takes action. Peacock notices that they're trying to over-take the boat but he's not going to have any of that shit. But he can't do much about cause the yacht blows up and people die, and Willie gets caught in the explosion and is left unconscious in the water. He wakes up and is being questioned by two detectives who badger him with questions. Apparently, it's a good idea to try and ruffle the feathers of a guy who's an EX-MARINE. You know, they're very adept at all kinds of things, like eating shit nobody deems digestable, or killing you with a spoon.

He comes home where the president of the marina tells him about a family emergency and that oh yeah, he's fired. So he packs his things and goes to the family emergency which turns out to be a funeral for his grandfather. Turns out, he gets a colder reception from the townsfolk than from his grandpa's dead body.

Peacock stays around because he has a few people he wants to meet and catch up with, namely his old ex who's now married to his brother, Timmy. Of course, things are kinda cool between them and Peacock isn't going to push anything further. Timmy goes out to prepare for the incoming storm.

Now we see the bad guys entering. Their plan for this village is to rob the banks as the hurricane hits, which isn't a big bad thing to do but hey, you get what you can get. I have to admit it's a pretty ingenious idea. Not too evil, but pretty damn ingenious. But you have to wonder though, what kind of bad guys shirk away from violence? It's essentially a hit and run operation, they don't dive headstrong into the shit and muscle their way to the money, but other bad guys cut from the Die hard cloth do a forceful takeover of... something and people DIE because of them. Here, they're like hyenas preying on the already dead, too much of pussies to do any real killing.

So Peacock, naturally won't take any of that shit because not only does he want to prove to the town he ain't all THAT bad, but also because they shot his brother (Not that he knows it at this moment but he will). He grabs his things and proceeds to kick ass.

Did I like it? I can't say that I loved it. For an action movie, this doesn't have the same tension as Die Hard, Die Hard 2, Speed, or Air Force One. It's more a step above Under Siege. I'm not saying it's not good either. I guess I just wasn't involved in Willie Peacock's journey. He's certainly put on the path of redemption but part of the appeal of Die Hard was how it explored character through an action movie. It's certainly easier said than done. Die Hard had a very real inner conflict for John McClane, he wants to save his marriage. Here, Willie wants to save a town because he feels that he owes it to them since he was responsible for the death of a townsman's son.

I guess why I didn't feel very impressed with the script is because I didn't buy into the emotional journey. Perhaps it was fresh when it hit in the 90's but that sort of emotional sympathy has been done to death. Willie doesn't have to go around to kill the bad guys and save the town from being robbed blindly. He doesn't lose much if he doesn't do anything. He doesn't owe the town anything and he's got no love for the town or it's people. It didn't feel very personal. To me, a good action movie thrills with near death experiences for the main character and the goal has to be very personal. But whatever the case is, it still needs to have a character that the audience empathizes with. It may be important to Willie to redeem himself in the eyes of the townsfolk but I felt that the story needed a bigger emotional pull. Tales of redemption have to really hit home in order for it to work, it has to tie into the actions the character takes. It has to factor in. It has to make the main character confront his fears. That's what makes drama. Perhaps it's just me not reading too deeply into the story but it seems that his biggest fear is making the same mistake with alcohol and driving. Not saying this COULDN'T work but unless there's a bit in the story where he's inebriated because the bad guys drugged him and Peacock has to drive a vehicle to get to where the bad guys are while under the influence and people are driving and running around and shit, I don't think it's a fear worth having, though more savvy readers may have a better idea what TRULY scares Peacock.

Let's look at one example, Sudden Death or as I like to call it, Die Hard in a hockey stadium. Van Damme quits his job cause a piece of building falls on him and kills a little girl. That path of redemption doesn't do anything to the overall plot because it doesn't make Van Damme confront his fears. It's just backstory that's there to make you sympathize with the character.

But then again it IS a Van Damme movie I'm referring to so characterization can be thrown out the window. You know, forget about it. I guess this script would work a lot better with certain actors behind it. Ask me to read Commando and I'd tell you the story would suck balls, but cast Arnold Schwarzenegger as John Matrix and dammit, I'm tuned in. So it's one of those things you know? Since Stallone was supposedly tapped to play the role of Willie Peacock, it may have worked. Hey it's Rambo in a hurricane!!

I felt that the script takes way too long to get to the action. There aren't any big action scenes until page fifty, and that's after the explosive beginning. It's a drama for forty pages and then it gets into the Die Hard territory with the action and whatnot.

To be honest, I DO like the slower burning action movies (Die Hard, duh) because it does allow for more space in between the action. But you do run into the trouble of keeping the narrative tension when the main character isn't doing something actiony in an action script. For most of Act I and the early parts of Act II, there's nothing driving the story forward, we're instead thrust into this drama about Willie being given a cold reception from everyone in the town. All because he has this bad reputation of being a bad person because he had one bad night, got drunk and killed of the townsmen's kid. It should work but most of the beginning doesn't do enough for it. He shows that he's sorry, feels bad about his actions, but none of that drives any of his actions until the pirates attack. It seems more of a footnote in Peacock's life that makes you sympathize with him.

Conversely, when you have an action movie that never stops, you run into the trouble of making the action bigger and better and if you think writing a decent action sequence is hard, try writing twelve of them that will successively up the tension.

Now, Gale Force is a well written script, no doubt. But the end result, I would've liked it more if there was a better emotional journey behind it. Like maybe he has a hard time readjusting to normal life after the marines and everyone thinks he's this crazy guy but he just really wants someone to talk to once in a while instead of being shunned and isolated from the community. He turns to alcohol as a way to escape that led to his one bad night and accidentally killed a kid.

Or he's a marine who must combat his fear of water after a freak accident with the marines that led to his discharge and has to confront his fears in order to save the town and get his mojo back. Eh, just an idea, I'm allowed to have one once in a while.

I did like how they didn't shoe-horn a romance into the plot. Willie's and Rye's relationship doesn't get rekindled, they had their time together and now they are apart. I liked how Timmy didn't die in order to make way for Willie to come in and save the day AND get the girl. It could've gone to a cliche'd territory but it doesn't and for that, I'm thankful for it.

Though I'm sure I might like it more if Van Damme, Schwarzenegger, or Seagal was behind the script as the acting talent but honestly, even though Stallone is a good idea to take the role action hero in this script, he's not over the top fun like Van Damme, Seagal, or Schwarzenegger. I might have enjoyed reading it more.

3/5