There seems to be this prevailing notion amongst those in my age bracket that the only goal in life is to be successful. You know the type, the wide eyed 18 year old that just graduated from high school, and thinks he can study something tough and prestigious and be given the power to change the world, marry a beautiful wife, buy two houses, have a family and gain the respect of his peers. It almost seems that our youth is put on a rail car, that our lives and future are chosen for us and we just make a decision every once in while which track to take: left or right. Never once do we ask if we want to be on such a transportation.
How many of us have dreams that are outright crazy, only to be told that the journey there is too tough, too financially insecure, too unfulfilling, or perhaps too unrespected?
Which leads me to think a rather depressing thought: How many of us deny ourselves to dream that would lead us to become the people we are meant to be for fear of failure, rejection and misunderstanding from those around you? How many potential artists, scientists, musicians, painters exist?
Perhaps the tragic part of all this isn't simply the denial of the individual but rather the passivity one has towards life. To live and be passionless, to sleepwalk through life, to be without any curiosity. It's an common occurrence whenever I ask people around me what subjects they are interested only to hear "nothing really".
What kind of world do we live in when intellectual curiosity is killed when there's a stratification amongst education. What does it say about us when Art programs in schools are always the first on the chopping block because they are deemed unimportant subjects?
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Hidden Blogs
It's interesting to see how few posts I managed to come up with over the course of a year. Fifty seven seems like a light amount by blog standards. Still, fifty seven for the past two years is still more than the average writer who only blogs once on a blue moon. The thing is, I have spent far more time writing uncompleted blog posts than publishing them. What you actually read is merely the stuff that I have completed.
I have about fifty more posts in the drafts and editing stage hidden behind this blog. Blogs about movies, more script reviews I never completed reviewing, contemplations about life, two short stories and many others.
Yes, there's far more underneath than what my blog has shown but due to my laziness and perfectionist nature, I have not have the time to go back and complete said posts. The blog is the result of half completed ideas.
That's not to say I won't go back to complete them. Most likely, I will. But don't hold your breath on it happening any time soon since school has resumed a few days ago.
I have about fifty more posts in the drafts and editing stage hidden behind this blog. Blogs about movies, more script reviews I never completed reviewing, contemplations about life, two short stories and many others.
Yes, there's far more underneath than what my blog has shown but due to my laziness and perfectionist nature, I have not have the time to go back and complete said posts. The blog is the result of half completed ideas.
That's not to say I won't go back to complete them. Most likely, I will. But don't hold your breath on it happening any time soon since school has resumed a few days ago.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
About Time
So I finally went on to finish my first "draft" and despite my misgivings, it's actually not as bad as I thought it would turn out to be. Don't get me wrong, it's still rather unreadable, and I doubt anybody who reads it will find anything from the script enjoyable or workable. But I feel damned proud that I managed to write something that wasn't a complete disaster.
But I guess I'm just surprised at myself for actually completing something that wasn't all that terrible. The script still needs a lot of work but overall, I'm happy I did it. Plus it's much better than sitting around coming up with ideas for things I will never write because I think it's just going to suck. Better to make something a reality and learn from your mistakes than thinking about doing something perfectly the first time around.
Realistically speaking, even with a re-written outline to work off of after I finish reading my own script, I think the actual script is about four or five drafts away from being mediocre. I guess part of the hard work is over, which is laying down the groundwork for subsequent drafts.
But I should pop open a glass of digital Apple Cider to celebrate.
But I guess I'm just surprised at myself for actually completing something that wasn't all that terrible. The script still needs a lot of work but overall, I'm happy I did it. Plus it's much better than sitting around coming up with ideas for things I will never write because I think it's just going to suck. Better to make something a reality and learn from your mistakes than thinking about doing something perfectly the first time around.
Realistically speaking, even with a re-written outline to work off of after I finish reading my own script, I think the actual script is about four or five drafts away from being mediocre. I guess part of the hard work is over, which is laying down the groundwork for subsequent drafts.
But I should pop open a glass of digital Apple Cider to celebrate.
Ah, the sweet taste of accomplishment
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Fifty Seven
That's the number of updates I have for the year of 2010. That's a twenty-six post improvement over the year before.
I think a self congratulatory pat on the back is in full order.
*pats self on the back
Good work ol' chap.
Now let's see some more consistent writing on this damn pathetic blog.
I think a self congratulatory pat on the back is in full order.
*pats self on the back
Good work ol' chap.
Now let's see some more consistent writing on this damn pathetic blog.
A few thoughts about taking advice from other writers...
I've been thinking a bit... I really have no idea what I'm talking about. Over the past year on this blog, I've been thinking about scripts, scripts, scripts and more scripts. The movies I've been reviewing were more about the story structure and less about my enjoyment of it. The thing is, I have all these ideas about what I think makes a good story...
and I really have nothing to show for it. Nothing that really shows that I understand anything about screenwriting or good storytelling.
I fear that the more I write about story structure, and without actually having too much writing experience, the less I actually understand about writing. Allow me to explain.
The reason I've been more contemplative the past few months, is because of my Intro to Islam class that I took last semester. Let's rewind a bit.
Back in the summer, I was perusing the academic requirements for transferring into a university (as anyone who knows, I'm the loser who chose to drop out UC Davis because I didn't like it -- and hate seems to be too mild a word to describe my tumultuous year as a college freshman but that's another story for another day).
I found out that I needed to take a few specific classes, I got a few requirements out of the way, but needed one more humanities course, a math course (fuck math btw), and an logic course. I really wanted to get into the Mythology Symbols and Folklore class because I heard how some people felt learning about Mythology helped in understanding character archetypes, etc, etc, Joseph Campbell, blah blah blah... Suffice it to say, I wanted in because it related to what I was trying to learn about: Screenwriting. And anyone who's perused sites about screenwriting, Joseph Campbell's name seems to pop up quite frequently because many aspiring writers use his work as a structure to organize their writing.
But as luck would have it, the class was filled up. I put myself on the waitlist and in the meantime, I looked over for other humanities courses. Intro To Islam popped up as one of the few other open Humanities courses so I signed myself up for that class as a back-up in case I didn't get in. Religious studies isn't really my thing, I'm an atheist and believe that religion has brought nothing but pain to the world (more on this in another blog post for another time). But in between Intro to Islam and a boring sounding class like Human Experience and Aesthetics, I think Islam sounded like a pretty good bet as far as interest goes. Afterall, I live in the western world and people worship Jesus like he's... well Jesus. So learning about someone like Mohammed instead should at least be new and kinda interesting. Except I was really hoping that I wouldn't have to take the class.
So fast forward to the day where class started. I went back to the college website and looked on the mythologies class. Surprisingly, someone dropped out of the class last minute so... joy! I don't have to take the Islam class. Only one more problem, I don't have enough credits to be considered a full time student. I figured that since I was already signed up for the Islam class, I would go try it out and if I hated it, I'll go back home, drop the class and look for another one. Shouldn't be too hard right?
Sure, the study of any religion is something that I felt would never appreciate and admittedly, I was only taking the class because I needed to complete a humanities course for my transfer requirements.
I guess you can say what happens next was one of those happy little accidents that you experience once on a blue moon.
So I entered the classroom, it was a hot and humid day. The kind of day I wish I didn't come so prepared for mildly cool weather. We have forty some sweaty people cramped up in this little classroom with the sun shining directly in through the window and absolutely no air conditioning to speak of. I went in, sweat and all, and took my seat.
At the front of the classroom stood this man. Amir Sabsevary. He wore this white tunic like thing that made him look like one of those religious men you see travelling to mecca. And as soon as he talked, he cracked a joke. I don't remember exactly what it was he said but I chuckled and laughed. If you sat in his class for a day, you come to realize, this guy was pretty self deprecating and didn't take himself too seriously.
Strangely for some reason, he reminded me of Steve Carell... if he were Muslim. It wasn't long before I found out that behind this teacher was one of the few teachers, one of the few people, who truly had something important to teach.
Amir Sabsevary is one of those teachers that you meet once in a lifetime. He's probably one of the most important people I have ever had the pleasure of being a student of.
Amid all the things the he taught us, he talked more about the pains felt by people, the frustrations that people feel as they live these infinitely insignificant lives. Despite my thoughts and feelings about religious institutions, I felt compelled to learn more about them. So every class I went in, quietly eager to learn more about religion.
I know what you're thinking dear reader -- what does any of this have with screenwriting? All in due time. Patience.
Amir lectured about the religious figures: Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha, and Moses. My understanding of these people have changed drastically over the course.
He lectured less about the religion of islam and more about the reasons why religion was and still is necessary for people. He talked about the amount of emotional pain that many individuals all tragically face in life. You see, when we look at figures such as Jesus Christ, Moses, Mohammed, The Buddha, we come to understand that these are people who have everything they could hope for in their life but for whatever reason, found the life that they lived unfulfilling.
Mohammed, Buddha, and Moses were all people who lived lives of wealth. Jesus, we didn't talk much about though but the point of the course wasn't about Jesus. The thing is, there's a common thread between these religious figures. They all felt, for whatever reason, disillusioned about their lives. Despite having everything that SHOULD make them happy, they were unsatisfied. And so, these religious figures go on their own journeys. They abandoned their kingdom, their wealth, in search for and end to their emotional sufferings. Buddha meditated under a tree, Mohammed the mountains, and Moses... uh... the mountains. Eventually, Angels, or God depending on your denomination, spoke to these individuals and gave them their spiritual guidance. They returned back to society changed men, with a new insight to life. They have found the solution to the end of suffering.
Because of their spiritual enlightenment, many people became drawn towards these individuals and they wanted to be more like them. They followed in the footsteps of these figures and became prophets.
Of course generations pass and we're no closer towards ending suffering. People are just as lost spiritually as they have been since religion took shape. So why is that? Why is it that people who follow the teachings of Buddha, Christ, Mohammed, and Moses still find life frustrating? Why is it that despite having a belief in their religious doctrines, doctrines that promises spiritual salvation, that people still feel the bleakness and frustrations of life?
The thing is he argues, is that many people look on to these religious figures and put them up on these pedestals because they have lived a life filled with passion, and we worship them because we want to attain the same spiritual plane as these figures. We read their works, the bible, the Koran, the four noble truths, the torah, in the hopes that we can understand these people and perhaps selfishly, to become more like them. We are, as Amir would argue, blinded people trapped in a cave looking for a light to guide the way. Human beings looking up at the sky wishing to be a part of what we can never be.
But what I've come to understand is that reading about these figures and their journeys through their lives will not in any way give you any more insight into what you will find to be personal spiritual salvation.
We will never understand Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha and Moses because we have never walked in their shoes. People follow religion because they too feel the pains and frustrations with life much like these religious figures, and they look upon them hoping that there are wise insights into dealing with these chaotic emotions. But they will never truly understand these men because of one important fact: People who follow religion have not become as enlightened as the religious figures they worship. They have not walked the path of Christ, have not felt the pain Mohammed felt, and have not become compelled to discover the root of these problems that society faces. Religious worshipers are shadows. Blindly following their chosen prophets without truly understanding who they are. See, Mohammed, Jesus, Buddha, and Moses became enlightened. They discovered the truth about their own spiritual suffering, became touched by "God", and wrote down the pillars of their enlightenment to teach to people. And generations go by and we have these different sects within religions, people arguing over who's right who's wrong, which testament to follow, which version of the Koran to read. People have, in their search for spiritual salvation, perverted the very teachings of these religious figures by blindly following them.
These things were part of what Amir taught us in the Intro to Islam class.
Now comes the answer you've been wondering about. What does this have to do with anything? Well as I've said, I've been contemplating a lot about my life the past few months. I've been thinking about my own experiences with writing and how, much like a religious worshiper, looked upon individuals of great knowledge teach about the craft of screenwriting and incorporating it all into my own writing without truly understanding what it is I was doing.
The thing is, I haven't suffered the life of a writer. All I have accomplished is essentially the same thing as many who follow religion. Instead of trying to understand through my own experiences what works and what doesn't work, I've looked onto other authors, the Jesus' and Mohammed's of the writing world, as inspiration so that I can be more like them, so that I can understand what they are trying to communicate about their process of writing. But because I haven't walked in their shoes, and will never do, I can never understand whatever it is they offer to teach.
Writing, much like life is a personal journey. We can look at the works of others, and listen to them talk about writing and their own processes in regards to the craft but will never understand what it means to truly be a writer until we have poured our own sweat and blood into our own pieces of writing, to suffer for our own passions.
So I guess, until I have actually experienced success as a writer, whatever my meditations are regarding the craft will ultimately be useless and whatever I have to say about the craft will therefore be useless to others. The contemplations will only be able to serve my own needs and no others because no one will venture step by step the same path as I have, much like how I will never venture forth step by step on the same path as you, or Steven King or William Shakespeare. Their meditations on writing will serve only themselves because it worked for them and anyone who looks upon their advice for inspiration, for solutions, will come up empty. To understand is to become.
So I guess I say this to someone who happens to accidentally happen upon my blog and even more miraculously, click on this specific post. Whatever it is you do, don't spend too much time listening to the professionals of the field trying to understand how THEY do things, don't worship them, don't try to understand them and their processes. To truly be, you must do.
Become passionate. Do, as though tomorrow is your last day. Do it from the heart.
and I really have nothing to show for it. Nothing that really shows that I understand anything about screenwriting or good storytelling.
I fear that the more I write about story structure, and without actually having too much writing experience, the less I actually understand about writing. Allow me to explain.
The reason I've been more contemplative the past few months, is because of my Intro to Islam class that I took last semester. Let's rewind a bit.
Back in the summer, I was perusing the academic requirements for transferring into a university (as anyone who knows, I'm the loser who chose to drop out UC Davis because I didn't like it -- and hate seems to be too mild a word to describe my tumultuous year as a college freshman but that's another story for another day).
I found out that I needed to take a few specific classes, I got a few requirements out of the way, but needed one more humanities course, a math course (fuck math btw), and an logic course. I really wanted to get into the Mythology Symbols and Folklore class because I heard how some people felt learning about Mythology helped in understanding character archetypes, etc, etc, Joseph Campbell, blah blah blah... Suffice it to say, I wanted in because it related to what I was trying to learn about: Screenwriting. And anyone who's perused sites about screenwriting, Joseph Campbell's name seems to pop up quite frequently because many aspiring writers use his work as a structure to organize their writing.
But as luck would have it, the class was filled up. I put myself on the waitlist and in the meantime, I looked over for other humanities courses. Intro To Islam popped up as one of the few other open Humanities courses so I signed myself up for that class as a back-up in case I didn't get in. Religious studies isn't really my thing, I'm an atheist and believe that religion has brought nothing but pain to the world (more on this in another blog post for another time). But in between Intro to Islam and a boring sounding class like Human Experience and Aesthetics, I think Islam sounded like a pretty good bet as far as interest goes. Afterall, I live in the western world and people worship Jesus like he's... well Jesus. So learning about someone like Mohammed instead should at least be new and kinda interesting. Except I was really hoping that I wouldn't have to take the class.
So fast forward to the day where class started. I went back to the college website and looked on the mythologies class. Surprisingly, someone dropped out of the class last minute so... joy! I don't have to take the Islam class. Only one more problem, I don't have enough credits to be considered a full time student. I figured that since I was already signed up for the Islam class, I would go try it out and if I hated it, I'll go back home, drop the class and look for another one. Shouldn't be too hard right?
Sure, the study of any religion is something that I felt would never appreciate and admittedly, I was only taking the class because I needed to complete a humanities course for my transfer requirements.
I guess you can say what happens next was one of those happy little accidents that you experience once on a blue moon.
So I entered the classroom, it was a hot and humid day. The kind of day I wish I didn't come so prepared for mildly cool weather. We have forty some sweaty people cramped up in this little classroom with the sun shining directly in through the window and absolutely no air conditioning to speak of. I went in, sweat and all, and took my seat.
At the front of the classroom stood this man. Amir Sabsevary. He wore this white tunic like thing that made him look like one of those religious men you see travelling to mecca. And as soon as he talked, he cracked a joke. I don't remember exactly what it was he said but I chuckled and laughed. If you sat in his class for a day, you come to realize, this guy was pretty self deprecating and didn't take himself too seriously.
Strangely for some reason, he reminded me of Steve Carell... if he were Muslim. It wasn't long before I found out that behind this teacher was one of the few teachers, one of the few people, who truly had something important to teach.
Amir Sabsevary is one of those teachers that you meet once in a lifetime. He's probably one of the most important people I have ever had the pleasure of being a student of.
Amid all the things the he taught us, he talked more about the pains felt by people, the frustrations that people feel as they live these infinitely insignificant lives. Despite my thoughts and feelings about religious institutions, I felt compelled to learn more about them. So every class I went in, quietly eager to learn more about religion.
I know what you're thinking dear reader -- what does any of this have with screenwriting? All in due time. Patience.
Amir lectured about the religious figures: Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha, and Moses. My understanding of these people have changed drastically over the course.
He lectured less about the religion of islam and more about the reasons why religion was and still is necessary for people. He talked about the amount of emotional pain that many individuals all tragically face in life. You see, when we look at figures such as Jesus Christ, Moses, Mohammed, The Buddha, we come to understand that these are people who have everything they could hope for in their life but for whatever reason, found the life that they lived unfulfilling.
Mohammed, Buddha, and Moses were all people who lived lives of wealth. Jesus, we didn't talk much about though but the point of the course wasn't about Jesus. The thing is, there's a common thread between these religious figures. They all felt, for whatever reason, disillusioned about their lives. Despite having everything that SHOULD make them happy, they were unsatisfied. And so, these religious figures go on their own journeys. They abandoned their kingdom, their wealth, in search for and end to their emotional sufferings. Buddha meditated under a tree, Mohammed the mountains, and Moses... uh... the mountains. Eventually, Angels, or God depending on your denomination, spoke to these individuals and gave them their spiritual guidance. They returned back to society changed men, with a new insight to life. They have found the solution to the end of suffering.
Because of their spiritual enlightenment, many people became drawn towards these individuals and they wanted to be more like them. They followed in the footsteps of these figures and became prophets.
Of course generations pass and we're no closer towards ending suffering. People are just as lost spiritually as they have been since religion took shape. So why is that? Why is it that people who follow the teachings of Buddha, Christ, Mohammed, and Moses still find life frustrating? Why is it that despite having a belief in their religious doctrines, doctrines that promises spiritual salvation, that people still feel the bleakness and frustrations of life?
The thing is he argues, is that many people look on to these religious figures and put them up on these pedestals because they have lived a life filled with passion, and we worship them because we want to attain the same spiritual plane as these figures. We read their works, the bible, the Koran, the four noble truths, the torah, in the hopes that we can understand these people and perhaps selfishly, to become more like them. We are, as Amir would argue, blinded people trapped in a cave looking for a light to guide the way. Human beings looking up at the sky wishing to be a part of what we can never be.
But what I've come to understand is that reading about these figures and their journeys through their lives will not in any way give you any more insight into what you will find to be personal spiritual salvation.
We will never understand Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha and Moses because we have never walked in their shoes. People follow religion because they too feel the pains and frustrations with life much like these religious figures, and they look upon them hoping that there are wise insights into dealing with these chaotic emotions. But they will never truly understand these men because of one important fact: People who follow religion have not become as enlightened as the religious figures they worship. They have not walked the path of Christ, have not felt the pain Mohammed felt, and have not become compelled to discover the root of these problems that society faces. Religious worshipers are shadows. Blindly following their chosen prophets without truly understanding who they are. See, Mohammed, Jesus, Buddha, and Moses became enlightened. They discovered the truth about their own spiritual suffering, became touched by "God", and wrote down the pillars of their enlightenment to teach to people. And generations go by and we have these different sects within religions, people arguing over who's right who's wrong, which testament to follow, which version of the Koran to read. People have, in their search for spiritual salvation, perverted the very teachings of these religious figures by blindly following them.
These things were part of what Amir taught us in the Intro to Islam class.
Now comes the answer you've been wondering about. What does this have to do with anything? Well as I've said, I've been contemplating a lot about my life the past few months. I've been thinking about my own experiences with writing and how, much like a religious worshiper, looked upon individuals of great knowledge teach about the craft of screenwriting and incorporating it all into my own writing without truly understanding what it is I was doing.
The thing is, I haven't suffered the life of a writer. All I have accomplished is essentially the same thing as many who follow religion. Instead of trying to understand through my own experiences what works and what doesn't work, I've looked onto other authors, the Jesus' and Mohammed's of the writing world, as inspiration so that I can be more like them, so that I can understand what they are trying to communicate about their process of writing. But because I haven't walked in their shoes, and will never do, I can never understand whatever it is they offer to teach.
Writing, much like life is a personal journey. We can look at the works of others, and listen to them talk about writing and their own processes in regards to the craft but will never understand what it means to truly be a writer until we have poured our own sweat and blood into our own pieces of writing, to suffer for our own passions.
So I guess, until I have actually experienced success as a writer, whatever my meditations are regarding the craft will ultimately be useless and whatever I have to say about the craft will therefore be useless to others. The contemplations will only be able to serve my own needs and no others because no one will venture step by step the same path as I have, much like how I will never venture forth step by step on the same path as you, or Steven King or William Shakespeare. Their meditations on writing will serve only themselves because it worked for them and anyone who looks upon their advice for inspiration, for solutions, will come up empty. To understand is to become.
So I guess I say this to someone who happens to accidentally happen upon my blog and even more miraculously, click on this specific post. Whatever it is you do, don't spend too much time listening to the professionals of the field trying to understand how THEY do things, don't worship them, don't try to understand them and their processes. To truly be, you must do.
Become passionate. Do, as though tomorrow is your last day. Do it from the heart.
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