I hate math
It's frustrating
There's too many numbers
Wastes paper.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Oysters and other thoughts about Food
I was having dinner one night not too long ago, where my mom cooked a meal, which is an occurrence that's getting rarer by the day (due in no part for a particular reason that because I am a good son and will never speak ill of my own mother or her abilities as a cook, will refrain from further explanation). That night, she prepared a fried oyster dinner served with worchester sauce which I have to admit was quite delicious. Now, I was never a fan of eating oysters but somehow (they are rather disgusting to look at and to eat), the fried nature of the dish along with the zesty punch of worchester sauce made consuming the oysters enjoyable, perhaps, for the first time.
As I gazed upon this thing people call "food", which looked like a deep fried zombie's vagina, I wondered to myself; Whoever was the first to do it, it would've taken someone quite brave to pry open an oyster and think eating such a creature was a good idea.
To think that someone back in ancient times picked up an oyster shell, which by all means looks like a fancy rock to a simple man, pried it open thinking that there was something useful in said fancy rock, looked upon this thing inside that looked like coconut pudding mixed with a bad bacterial infection and said to himself, "what the hell?", chucked his neck back and swallowed it whole with nary a worry about what exactly it was he consumed.
Did this man lose a bet? Was he just a starving man looking for something to eat? Or did he really think that there was something inherently important in rocks that no one else had discovered and thought to be the first pioneer in aquatic rock examination and just stumbled upon oysters by accident?
And let's not forget how difficult it actually is to pry open an oyster shell. Whoever this person was, really lived on the wild and dangerous side of life or really really wanted to eat this thing.
But perhaps the Irish author, essayist and satirist, Jonathan Swift, said it best: "He was a bold man that first ate an oyster".
Bold or crazy? Or just plain stupid? I think the fact that there isn't a clear answer is what disturbs me the most. It's the idea that an entire cuisine was possibly created upon the whims of a crazy man's stomach is what keeps me up at night.
It leads me to think; what about other foods? Forget about the bizarre things like snails and insects, what about the "normal foods"? Like milk? Some guy observed a calf sucking on a cow's teat for food and thought it was a good idea to do the same.
Or pomegranates? These fruits don't make sense, they're fruits that are only an inch and a half of skin and seeds, nothing more.
How many crazy people must have there been that took the bold path and said to the world when presented with a new animal, plant, or mollusk, "fuck it, I'm eating it"?
The human stomach knows no bounds.
As I gazed upon this thing people call "food", which looked like a deep fried zombie's vagina, I wondered to myself; Whoever was the first to do it, it would've taken someone quite brave to pry open an oyster and think eating such a creature was a good idea.
To think that someone back in ancient times picked up an oyster shell, which by all means looks like a fancy rock to a simple man, pried it open thinking that there was something useful in said fancy rock, looked upon this thing inside that looked like coconut pudding mixed with a bad bacterial infection and said to himself, "what the hell?", chucked his neck back and swallowed it whole with nary a worry about what exactly it was he consumed.
Did this man lose a bet? Was he just a starving man looking for something to eat? Or did he really think that there was something inherently important in rocks that no one else had discovered and thought to be the first pioneer in aquatic rock examination and just stumbled upon oysters by accident?
And let's not forget how difficult it actually is to pry open an oyster shell. Whoever this person was, really lived on the wild and dangerous side of life or really really wanted to eat this thing.
But perhaps the Irish author, essayist and satirist, Jonathan Swift, said it best: "He was a bold man that first ate an oyster".
Bold or crazy? Or just plain stupid? I think the fact that there isn't a clear answer is what disturbs me the most. It's the idea that an entire cuisine was possibly created upon the whims of a crazy man's stomach is what keeps me up at night.
It leads me to think; what about other foods? Forget about the bizarre things like snails and insects, what about the "normal foods"? Like milk? Some guy observed a calf sucking on a cow's teat for food and thought it was a good idea to do the same.
Or pomegranates? These fruits don't make sense, they're fruits that are only an inch and a half of skin and seeds, nothing more.
How many crazy people must have there been that took the bold path and said to the world when presented with a new animal, plant, or mollusk, "fuck it, I'm eating it"?
The human stomach knows no bounds.
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