Doughnut Wars

Between Dunkin' Donuts and Tim Hortons, there can be only one...



Well this is the perfect news for me. At least 11 Dunkin' Donuts have closed down in Manhattan and has made way for a another, more northern taste. Now most Americans wouldn't know too much about this doughnut chain but for us Canadians, its mark of our heritage, a place so deeply ingrained into our cultural consciousness that it's as popular as hockey. I am talking about the one, the only Tim Hortons.

What?



Tim Hortons began as a simple doughnut shop founded by: you guessed it, Tim Horton, a reknowned Canadian hockey player. It's a story of small humble beginnings, fame and ultimately tragedy. Hell, even I wouldn't believe this story if someone told me a hockey player started one of the largest franchises in Canadian history. It's too stereotypically good to be true.







If it does well in New York and those other more northern american cities, hopefully, it would spur the opening of the restaraunts to a more southern location. I'm not blasting Dunkin' Donuts, even though they spell DOUGHNUT wrong, it just doesnt't have the comfy feeling that Tim Hortons has, but again, I am biased.

One of the first things that I do whenever I land my ass back home in Vancouver is to eat my ass off. That's right, despite all the junk that permeates American diets, even the Canadian crap tastes better even if it's an American franchise. I cross off all those awesome chinese restaraunts, fast food chains such as White Spot (B.C. thing), Dairy Queen, A&W, Boston Pizza, and of course the very Canadian Tim Hortons.

I don't care what people say and what their taste in fast food chain dougnut shops are. To me, there is only one, and I await the day where I don't have to fly all the way back to Vancouver to nab me some of those Timbits. C'mon, come over to California I need my doughnut fix...




Always fresh, Always Tim Hortons...

Transformers: ROTF Logical Inconsistencies A Nerd Rant

I didn't notice most of these things until after I've read about them online, which just proves that not only can Michael Bay make an extremely dumb and entertaining movie, but also has enough talent to lower the audience's IQ.

5-1+1=6 Math doesn't count
Apparently, not even military specialists know how to do simple arithmetic in the movie. Submarine technician counts five decepticons going down to rescue Megatron, one gets turn to scrap for parts in order to repair him - essentially as a sacrifice; Megatron awakens and the techy counts six decepticons rising from the sea. Where the fuck did the extra one come from? Must be the shit Michael Bay is pulling out of his ass. Plus not to mention that the Arcee twins, the three tranforming bikes that you only see in the beginning and near the end of the movie, are a group of three. How the fuck can you call them twins?

Walking is faster than driving.
Thankfully I actually noticed this one. Apparently in the Transformers universe, walking/running is faster than any other form of short transportation. Take the scene in the forest for example. Sam can fucking outrun the Decepticons that not only are as tall as two story buildings but can transform into cars and jets! WTF?
Not only that but considering the final act of the movie where it was of the utmost importance to bring the Matrix of Leadership to revive Optimus in a timely fashion, Sam chooses not to drive but walk... Walk across the desert in blazing hot heat while the evil decepticons are on his tail and the military is bombing the place like Hiroshima cause it's more logical that way... cause walking's for pussies and faster than any form of transportation which brings us to the next point...

Reviving Optimus.
Ok, we get that Optimus is like the Biggest Baddest transforming mother fucker ever and that he needs to come back to life in order to save the day, but did they have to go through all that trouble just to revive him? Sam's got a sliver of the Allspark with him right? And the Allspark can be used to bring Cybertronians back to life like it did for Megatron. But no, leave it to the humans to complicate it all by going to the agent, try to decypher the symbols and use the last of the AllSpark to revive a grandpa transformer and teleport you all the way to Egypt just so you could travel through the desert and locate the Matrix of Leadership to revive Optimus just so he could destroy the Fallen one, because he's the only one that can.
Fuck! You already have the Allspark in your jacket. "Geez, let's go find that old transformer and use this Allspark sliver to bring him back to life so he can tell us how to bring Optimus back."

Decepticons aren't EVIL... at all
OK, so the series has divided the lines, Autobots good, Decepticons bad. Two years after the incident in L.A. where a bunch of huge Robots basically fuck up the city, Optimus and the rest of the autobots form an alliance with the military to hunt down the decepticons hiding in various locations on Earth. This is the opening first ten minutes of the movie, Autobots and military taking down a decepticon in Shanghai. Two years of hiding on Earth, what the HELL did the decepticons do? NOTHING! They're hiding peacefully in plain sight not harming any humans or other autobots in their time on Earth but leave it to Optimus to hunt those guys down like animals. Shit that big ass Tranformer wasn't a threat to anyone if anything, he was helping the chinese government build up their economy. No wonder why Decepitcons hate autobots and humans. That my friend, was just cold blooded murder.

Humans are retarded
A bunch of huge transforming robots fuck up one of the most famous and populated cites in the world, and still the government can find a way to cover it up. Guess Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones should've made a cameo, but since they didn't, humans are stupid for believing the government's shit. You can't cover-up countless buildings destroyed, unless you use asteroids as a scapegoat. Armageddon should've been a spinoff of Transformers in that case. Then you got the huge experimental weapon known as the Rail Gun that could fuck up a HUGE Transformer in a single blast. Where the Hell was it when Megatron and the Fallen were up at the peak of the pyramid with the Energon making machine? Three birds one stone and they only managed to kill one. Humans can't do math in this movie. Plus just look at Sam's quest to revive Optimus for more proof of humanity's stupidity.

Decepticons are retarded.
Even worse than humans are the decepticons. Sam is going to college and the Decepticons sent a human/transformer hybrid to hunt him down for... whatever reason. One would be lead to assume the Allspark but then again, if you know what school he's going to, his dorms and his classes, why bother sending an infiltration unit? If they had the technology to trace Sam's footsteps all the way to college, why didn't they just confront him earlier? Or maybe they know that he's got the symbols in his brain or something that they needed to extract from him after he's touched the All Spark sliver which begs the question, why don't you steal the thing from him before it gets into his brain? I'm sure that scientist Transformer can steal the sliver, inspect it and discover the symbols to the Sun Harvestor without having to go through Sam. Also, what with the plan to kidnap Sam's parents? You mean that a big bad Decepticon would rather use his parents as a bargaining chip to get the Matrix of Leadership instead of picking him up and shaking it out of him. I don't know about you but if some puny animal was in the way of my survival, the last thing I would do is threaten its family, I'd kill it before it kills me. Decepticons make Rube Goldberg plans that never seem to work.

Maybe all Cybertronians are retarded...
So Autobots and Decepitcons need a source of Energon in order to Survive... what to do? Build an Energon harvestor that destroys suns in order to make that energon. But here's the catch, the 8 (or 7)Primes have vowed never to destroy a Sun that provides energy for any other living thing. But one Prime's all like "Man, Fuck humans, let's blow this shit up anyways" (cause it's a Micheal Bay movie) Thus is the one called the Fallen. They need to find a way to stop the fallen one but here's a catch; the fallen can only be killed by a Prime. The remaining primes devise a plan soo ingenious that it is bound to work, they kill themselves and hide the Matrix of Leadership in a tomb made of their bodies so that the Fallen one cannot put his hands on it, and hide the Harvestor in a pyramid thus preventing the Sun Harvestor from being activated and protecting the human race.

Fuckin' A.

Never mind the fact that it's at least 7 Primes to 1 (doing that math I think the chances are pretty good that you'd win, but then again since 5-1+1=6, I don't think the same rules applies in this universe) or that you can go the Michael Bay route and Blow up the Fucking machine. The Primes seem get a hard on whenever the thought of sacrificing themselves for the greater good comes along, seriously look at them all, Optimus tried sacrificing himself in the first movie and that was his plan. But why not just move on to another fucking system? Last I checked there's at least a good few hundred BILLION other fucking stars in this galaxy. One Sun ain't gonna make much of a difference. Instead of nipping the problem in the bud by either A) Killing The Fallen by jumping his ass (remember, it's at least seven of you Primes and one of him); B) Blowing up the Machine instead of hiding it or; C) moving to another system. They wait for a decendant of the Primes - Optimus, to vanquish the evil in thier place. And what did Optimus do? He blew up the fucking Harvestor.

This is one of those movies that kids will look back on in ten years and laugh at how stupid the whole thing is. It's a fun dumb movie, and unfortunately too dumb for it's own good. I'm not gonna lie though I enjoyed it. I knew going in that a Micheal Bay movie is going to go one way and one way only: Shit blows up. I guess that's why most of the general audience can enjoy this movie, the explosions prevent you from questioning the movie's logic until after you leave the theatre. Fuck man everything blew up in the movie; cars, building, dorm rooms, forests, deserts, even the Dog's House Blew up!

Toy Story 3

So far Pixar is 10-0, not a single bad movie under this production studio. Now I didn't get to see UP this weekend (will do it soon), but I have no doubt that it is another one of Pixar's masterpieces. Toy Story 3 isn't out until June 18, 2010 but here's the teaser trailer.



And to look back at how far Pixar has come, here's one of the first films that Pixar produced titled "Luxo Jr.", later adopted as the mascot for the animation studio and as part of their corporate logo. This short is dated 1986.

Star Trek Review: 4.5/5

Space: The Final Frontier...

Well, I guess you could say that this movie does indeed boldy go where no one has gone before (in the series): mainstream appeal. I'll have to say that I enjoyed this movie immensely the two times I watched it. The movie was superbly cast, had great action scenes and a distinct artistic style that pays homage to the original series' set pieces while updating them to have less of a chessy 60' sci-fi show feel with more of a sleek futuristic setting.

The movie follows the early days of the famous Captain James T. Kirk, whose father sacrificed his life to save the crew and passengers from a deadly Romulan attack. Poor young Kirk has a lot to live up for, and already the film establishes his journey to become the future captain.

Star Trek features new actors assuming the roles of familiar characters and to their credit, brings new life into the role without feeling like a carbon copy of an the original actor's portrayal. Chris Pine channels kirk without becoming Shatner, he is equal parts Space bad boy as he is a rebel. Zachary Quinto is plays the role of Spock, balancing a fine line between showing emotions and logic that the character is famously known for.

Nero, played by Eric Bana, feels a little light on the villainy. Despite commanding a massive starship with technology from the future, Nero never feels quite threatening as the circumstances make it out to be. The real stars of this show are in fact, Kirk and Spock. They start off on the wrong foot; rebellious Kirk cheats on the infamous Kobiyashi Maru test and is brought to academy judicial affairs where Spock teaches him a lesson about leadership. They have a rocky starting relationship that begins to blossum once the two characters realize how valuable they are to each other. A bromance if you will.

The film does suffer a little from a weak plot. While Nero's intentions are well founded, his scheme to destroy the federation seems rather rushed. By the film's frame of time, not soon after that Romulan was destroyed that Nero vowed vengeance against Spock and set his plans in motion. In retrospect, it is forgiveable since this is more of an re-imagined origin story (origins always seem to have a weaker plot than its inevitable sequel).

I'm not going to lie, I was immensley impressed with Star Trek. Unlike other tentpole summer movies of this year, (Looking at you Logan) Star Trek never feels like it betrays the audience. It manages to pay homage to Trekkies who have been with the series since the beginning without alienating the newcomers with overcomplicated plots and a truckload of cameos that may advance the plot but are unnecessary. J.J. Abrams understands that movies like this aren't just about the razzle dazzle of explosions and actions, but are about the journey of the characters.

4.5/5

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

(First Film review so excuse me for sounding like a fanboy)
I had the pleasure of watching the workprint version of the new Wolverine movie; and before anyone can tell me piracy is wrong, I will just say that yes, it's illegal but in my opinion, piracy has the added benefit of free advertising but that's a whole other issue.

Hugh Jackman returns as the badass Canadian antihero Wolverine in a prequel to the X-men movies. The film tells of his exploits in the Weapons X program that would be responsible for his adamantium skeleton.

X-men origins has a lot of great eyecandy in its actions sequences; but unfortunatley they fall into the usual tired movie cliches. Wolverine fights Sabretooth, gets attacked by a helicopter fights it off in his motorcycle and walks away with his back to an explosion. The action has little to add towards the advancement of the plot. Wolverine gets to be a badass just because he can.

The movie is loaded with cameos from the entire X-men universe which is sure to please the fanboys. We also have some popular characters playing important roles. Ryan Reynolds is cast as the quick witted and mouthy Deadpool and the character many have been clamouring for an appearance since the first X-men, Gambit. The main problem with the extra characters in this movie is that they serve as merely convenient plot devices rather than fully realized characters we know and love from the comic books.

The plot has a decent first act that chronicles the lives of both Wolverine and Sabretooth who in the movie's continuity are half brothers. After Wolverine leaves Team X the plot turns into a bit of a mess. From this point on, the movie begins to lose its focus until we get into the last act of the movie where it is no longer sure just exactly why Wolverine is where he is. Wolverine was never much of a strong three dimensional character in the comics and doesn't gain much when exploring his "darker" side in this movie. The movie doesn't delve into why he is the way he is and doesnt portray a character arc that shows wolverine growing into the badass antihero we know. He is pretty much the same throughout the movie.

The acting for the most part is pretty decent. Hugh Jackman is Wolverine and despite any misgivings about respecting the character's origin story gives a fine performance. Liev Schrieber was an interesting choice to cast as the ferocious Sabretooth since he doesn't look too much the part but it's no matter. His portrayal imbues a mixture of maniacle fun with the menacing nature of the character and it was great fun to watch him go toe to toe with Wolverine. William Stryker on the other hand doesn't feel like much of a villain despite being a huge antagonist in Wolverine's history. He lacks the subtle hatred for mutants that Brian Cox did so well for the character in X 2. In fact, were not sure if he even hates them in this movie.

Fans of the X-men movies should rejoice that it is nowhere near as bad as X-men 3: The Last Stand. The movie has spectacle and great action but ultimately falls short of being a memorable summer movie. If anything, it feels rather unnecessary because X-men 2 was more of a movie that focused on Wolverine's character than this movie. People going into the theatres expecting a fun action movie should not be dissapointed but for those of us expecting an engaging study of Wolverine's character and origins and how it fits into the X-men mythology might feel a little dissapointed. I guess if you've been planning to watch it, you will and if you never felt any inclination to catch the movie, you won't be missing much.

3/5

nothing in particular

I figure now that writing is going to be a major part of my life, I might as well start writing for the fun of it. This blog isn't something that I intend for others to read, but more for my own uses, as a journal of sorts where I can freely write about anything and everything I want, and as a tool for me to reflect on not only my life, but also my abilities as a writer. I'm not good at the moment, grammer's a HUGE bitch at times. Hopefully with enough practice, I can write more eloquently and form more cohesive bodies of work that don't feel all over the place with ideas (possible that I'm ADD lite).

Now on to my news...

Today marks the start of the new school quarter here at UC Davis. To me, it's just ten more weeks til I'm outta here for good, it's no secret that I despise the place. Hell, just take a look around, just grass... and cows. All flat land. Boredom to the nth degree. Now, I'm not saying that I hate the people there, certainly better that the douchebags you meet in high school. My problem with the school is just a general lack of interesting classes.

As much as I hate college at this point, I can't help but wonder if education still means the same thing. Everyone expects the smart people in highschool to attend a prestigious school such as Harvard, UC Berkeley or any Ivy-league school. It certainly is a great networking tool, just look at Obama. He got most of his help in his presidential campaign from colleagues he went to school with. My problem with college is simply the illusion it creates. Does smart equate to our definition of education?

There certainly has to be a point where the school no longer becomes part of the educational equation. Ask any teenager what their plans are after highschool and most would say "I'm gonna get an education", which is fine. I feel though, that the defintition of education has become something along the lines of being a success which, in my opinion is not necessarily the case. Why is it that some people who never attended any schools after highschool managed to make a better living than others who have graduated from a four year educational institution? I guess the simple answer is that these people know what to do with their life, or at least more so than some. I'm not trashing people who go to college, no. I simply think how ridiculous it is for some people to expect that college is the gateway to money. Most of it is hard work and determination, and hopefully passion for your area of interest.

College can be a wonderful place, as long as you know in your gut that you belong there, because there is something that you have to learn from the institution. I guess that makes me an outsider of sorts, I never did learned much from highschool and once college started, didn't learn it there either. I guess the thing is, make learning a priority. It shouldn't matter what it is, and be open minded.

Finally something went right with my life. I got off the waitlist for the Simpsons Class! I finally have a class that teaches you how to write scripts!