What It Means to Be Canadian

Here's a bit of a rundown to what Americans should expect out of us Canucks.

Curling is cool (Ha ha, it's a pun, get it? Guys?)

Sometimes, even we think curling is boring.

Tim Hortons is The Doughnut god. Do not even fucking mention Dunkin' Donuts within our earshot. They don't even spell "Donut" right. Also... Timbits!!

Wolverine is Canadian. You fuck with us you fuck with him.


Don't touch our geese. We love our Geese, so much so that they're on our coins and bank notes.



We're really peaceful, but when pushed we do a mean throwdown unleashing the hockey player within.

Football's for pussies, you ever tried fighting while keeping balance on ice? Yeah, didn't think so.

We love Degrassi. Our highest rated and one of the more critically acclaimed t.v. show is a teen drama. Yeah... we know.

Canada is not America's hat. America is Canada's pants. For proof, look at Florida.

We don't miss Celine Dion.

The reason why we're so nice: Once a week we get into the hockey rink and unleash a berserker fury of rage. You should try it sometime. So many conflicts could've ended if people just settled business within the rink.

Which brings us to this point. We may be pushovers, but when it comes down to Hockey, we mean business.



Wayne Gretzky. Do I even have to say anything about The Great one?

Don't disrespect the natives.

Most of all...

Welcome to Canada, we hope you like it here.