It's strange that despite my interest in writing that I have not been more well read than I should have. As I posted in the last free write, I'm currently taking a creative break from writing my script and focusing instead on writing a short story. It's been dawning on me how shameful it is that I have not read more works by classic authors and have the audacity to call myself a writer in any capacity.
I thought it would be a good idea to read authors that I wasn't very well exposed to in High School. It was just yesterday that I came across the full 201 collection of short stories written by Anton Chekhov. I figured that even though I may not be the most well read of writers, I can certainly start becoming more of one. Hopefully I learn a few things.
Btw, if anyone is interested (I don't know who's sorry soul would dare stumble on this blog), here is the link to the full collection of short stories by Anton Chekhov.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Scariest Nightmare I'll Ever Have
It's been a while since I wrote about what I dreamed. I'm not like most folks who'll have the most absurd and quite honestly best sounding acid induced dream you could ever have the hope of experiencing. My dreams can be rather bland. If I'm lucky, I'll have a nightmare of being chased by an invisible phantom. Usually I either get caught or another dream starts. On the occasion that I do get caught, I usually get a very threatening stern verbal warning, then I'm let go for some strange reason.
So it hardly constitutes as a nightmare. The ending is usually disappointing which is why I think those dreams usually end right in the middle of being chased being scared shitless for my life.
This is a dream where I was being chased, and my friends was I scared shitless.
For some reason, I'm back in highschool, except that my highschool is suddenly built with an indoor playground you would find at a Chuck E. Cheese. Nothing really happens here except that I'm going to classes, meeting my old highschool teachers. Until... complete fear enters my veins. I fucking duck down underneath a table and slowly begin finding an escape out. Why? I was being chased. Who?
Steven Seagal.
No, not fat Steven. I'm talking about in his prime, Under Siege, Hard to Kill, Steven Seagal.
Luckily, I managed to out wit him a few times as I tried to make my escape (that or he was simply lulling me into a false sense of security). I don't remember much of what happened, maybe because much didn't happen or the nightmare was far too traumatizing for me to remember the ending. I just knew that when I woke up, I was never more thankful to be living a shitty life. Nothing could possibly compare to the nightmare of being hunted down by a Hard to Kill era Steven Seagal.
As soon as I woke up in bed, I checked every limb of my body to make sure I didn't have any broken bones.
I didn't.
So it hardly constitutes as a nightmare. The ending is usually disappointing which is why I think those dreams usually end right in the middle of being chased being scared shitless for my life.
This is a dream where I was being chased, and my friends was I scared shitless.
For some reason, I'm back in highschool, except that my highschool is suddenly built with an indoor playground you would find at a Chuck E. Cheese. Nothing really happens here except that I'm going to classes, meeting my old highschool teachers. Until... complete fear enters my veins. I fucking duck down underneath a table and slowly begin finding an escape out. Why? I was being chased. Who?
Steven Seagal.
No, not fat Steven. I'm talking about in his prime, Under Siege, Hard to Kill, Steven Seagal.
Luckily, I managed to out wit him a few times as I tried to make my escape (that or he was simply lulling me into a false sense of security). I don't remember much of what happened, maybe because much didn't happen or the nightmare was far too traumatizing for me to remember the ending. I just knew that when I woke up, I was never more thankful to be living a shitty life. Nothing could possibly compare to the nightmare of being hunted down by a Hard to Kill era Steven Seagal.
As soon as I woke up in bed, I checked every limb of my body to make sure I didn't have any broken bones.
I didn't.
Free Write 4
I'm currently taking a creative break from writing my script. I felt that I've been steeped in building a story for so long that I've forgotten what a story looks and feels like.
So to remedy that, I've decided to slow things down (technically sped things up, I didn't feel like I was getting anywhere by breaking the story) and start writing a short story or two. It might be the perfect way of recharging my creative batteries. I don't have to worry about page count and I don't have to worry about adhering to the conventions of writing a script. Lately, I've been feeling like I was in a creative drought working on the script (which wasn't even any real writing, just outlining and simple prep work stuff -- Took me damn near 6 months to do, yeah totally the poster boy for hard working writer).
So yeah, hopefully I'll get back to it soon with some fresh ideas.
So to remedy that, I've decided to slow things down (technically sped things up, I didn't feel like I was getting anywhere by breaking the story) and start writing a short story or two. It might be the perfect way of recharging my creative batteries. I don't have to worry about page count and I don't have to worry about adhering to the conventions of writing a script. Lately, I've been feeling like I was in a creative drought working on the script (which wasn't even any real writing, just outlining and simple prep work stuff -- Took me damn near 6 months to do, yeah totally the poster boy for hard working writer).
So yeah, hopefully I'll get back to it soon with some fresh ideas.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Free Write 3: The Wallaby Hypothesis
There was an article on Yahoo today about possible explanations for crop circles. Now, being a person who is really interested in the idea of extraterrestrials, I've heard of every possible explanation about how crop circles are created. It's very obvious that people are prone to perpetuating hoaxes and it's no surprise that the Yahoo article makes note of human reasons why farmers wake up the next morning to find that their crops look rather flat.
We've heard of the hoaxes, we've heard of the possibility of Alien forces, we've even entertained the idea of the planet's magnetism having something to do with this phenomenon. Now, science has a new theory for the creation of crop circles: Wallabies.
Before you go "huh?", yes it's the Australian marsupial. I'm talking about these creatures:
The article claims that wallabies are responsible for the crop circles in Australia because they consume Poppy plants and get high. Wallabies high on the opium start jumping up and down in circles and inadvertently create crop circles.
Let me repeat this, wallabies are a responsible for crop circles.
Wallabies getting high off of opium.
What the fuck kind of world do we live in?
Those goddamn wallabies.
We've heard of the hoaxes, we've heard of the possibility of Alien forces, we've even entertained the idea of the planet's magnetism having something to do with this phenomenon. Now, science has a new theory for the creation of crop circles: Wallabies.
Before you go "huh?", yes it's the Australian marsupial. I'm talking about these creatures:
The article claims that wallabies are responsible for the crop circles in Australia because they consume Poppy plants and get high. Wallabies high on the opium start jumping up and down in circles and inadvertently create crop circles.
Let me repeat this, wallabies are a responsible for crop circles.
Wallabies getting high off of opium.
What the fuck kind of world do we live in?
Those goddamn wallabies.
Friday, July 29, 2011
Free Write 2
I've been thinking about the reasons why somebody would avoid hell. Sure, no one wants to spend an eternity being tortured to death only to realize that you can't die.
But think about Heaven for a second. In heaven you can't do all the sinful things that we enjoy down here on earth. That means no porn, adultery, prostitutes, drugs, provocative music videos (and their music), violence, alcohol, killing, fast cars, fake tits, money, Michael Bay movies, and shellfish. To top it all off, you probably don't even have an internet connection to watch any of these things.
On the other hand, here you have hell for all the sinners, con men, drug addicts, gluttons, adulterers, gamblers, shell fish aficionados and Jersey Shore fans.
Plus I hear it's rather toasty. Can hell really be that bad?
But think about Heaven for a second. In heaven you can't do all the sinful things that we enjoy down here on earth. That means no porn, adultery, prostitutes, drugs, provocative music videos (and their music), violence, alcohol, killing, fast cars, fake tits, money, Michael Bay movies, and shellfish. To top it all off, you probably don't even have an internet connection to watch any of these things.
On the other hand, here you have hell for all the sinners, con men, drug addicts, gluttons, adulterers, gamblers, shell fish aficionados and Jersey Shore fans.
Plus I hear it's rather toasty. Can hell really be that bad?
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Free Write: The Inception
Anything unstructured goes. Basically, it means that this is the absolute most bullshitting piece of writing I'll ever post because let's face it, when your teachers in elementary school told you to spend five minutes just freewriting, you know they were preparing you on how to bullshit writing.
(See how grammatically incorrect that last sentence was? FREE WRITING baby!)
Translated into proper English, this is the place where goofy things are supposed to happen. Sort of like dreaming but without the images. Like what I imagine blind people do when they fall asleep.
(Yeah I made a blind joke, it shouldn't be too offensive. Besides, it's not like they can braille on a computer screen.)
Somethings I'll feel like writing stuff just because. And these will be my free writes.
(See how grammatically incorrect that last sentence was? FREE WRITING baby!)
Translated into proper English, this is the place where goofy things are supposed to happen. Sort of like dreaming but without the images. Like what I imagine blind people do when they fall asleep.
(Yeah I made a blind joke, it shouldn't be too offensive. Besides, it's not like they can braille on a computer screen.)
Somethings I'll feel like writing stuff just because. And these will be my free writes.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
How you know you're watching a Micheal Bay Film
Most people by now would know when they're watching a Micheal Bay film. For those who are unfamiliar with his work, I've compiled an easy checklist so that you too, will be able to tell when you are watching a Micheal Bay movie.
American flag waving proudly in either the background or used as an establishing shot in the foreground
A character looks forlornly at the Sunset
A character looks forlornly at the sunrise
Military vehicles
Military Weaponry
Military jargon
Military missiles
token funny black guy
Token funny latino guy
Token funny ethnic stereotype if token funny latino or black guy isn't available
Ill conceived moment of humour
Shouting
homosexual joke, usually done in a way where the main character is mistakenly assumed to be gay, Look to: Bad Boys II and Transformers Dark of the Moon for examples.
Highly saturated colours, often either orange or blue tinged. Usually combined with a sunset or sunrise.
Car chases
Sports cars
Explosions (Duh)
Questionable physics
Polt inaccuracies
Rock music that thinks it's on the edge.
A panning 360 degree shot of our protagonists, usually with the sunset in the background.
Artistic musical dissonance: In other words, a well written and composed orchestral piece played amidst a highly energetic action sequence, used to class up the action.
Helicopter flying to a government destination, usually combined with a shot of the sun in the background.
If your movie has six of these or more, you're watching a Michael Bay Movie. If you have a problem with any of these things being in a movie, well then...
Fuck You. He's Michael Bay.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
